I wish to state unequivocally, that I am against the practice of piracy, especially when Johnny Depp is involved. Words alone will not solve this problem, we need action. Under my plan, we will seek to convince green peace activists that the pirates are hurting whales. Then stand back and let the green nuts do some good.
Like any world leader I will seek to surround myself with obscene riches; but unlike the other corrupt power hungry maniacs, I will do it with style. Why have a gold car, when you can have a fleet of gold monster trucks that shoot diamond tipped bullets?
I will make English 2.0 the official language of the world, English is already the language of business. English 2.0 will be like English with a few changes, most noticeable we will get rid of the letter K. It is a redundant letter that does nothing that C can not do, and when it is silent in words like knife it becomes exceptionally useless. We can replace it on keyboards with a smiley face, or, a horn
I have some other ideas but don't want to reveal too much right away.