by 8:34 AM 0 COMMENTS

Harold Camping, has done some extensive biblical research and discovered this is the day. Never mind the fact that the Bible he used explicitly states that no man knows the day or hour, they obviously were not counting on someone as smart as old Harold. Never mind that Herold tried this once in 1994 and was wrong; I'm sure this time he has it right. Let's just go with it and try and make the most of this our last day. Here are some things I plan on doing.

10. Gatorade in the pipes

I have a lot old powdered Gatorade sitting around the house. Why not put some in the well and enjoy the convince of fruit punch from the tap? Even better I might invite a few guests over and not tell them what I did.

9. A high speed chase
Who among us has not wondered what it would be like to be involved in a high speed chase, while driving a beat up slow car? In the movies it's the cops chasing some shorts car, but why not a Ford Pinto? I know, it's not that great, but where am I going to find a sports car on short notice? Note-I'll do this toward the end of the day, so, my last day on earth will not be spent in jail.

8. Buy and eat a wedding cake
I'm thinking, I'll go into a bakery and have them make a nice wedding cake. I'll then eat the cake in front of them.

7. Dress how I want
This is my chance to wear my camouflage overalls top hat and cape to town... If I go to Wall Mart I'll probably blend in.

6. Buy an exotic animal
I've always avoided having a pet gorilla, because I knew I was not ready for the responsibility. But hey, if the world is about to end, why not?

5. Money fire
Invite some friends up the canyon for a good old fashion money fire. Who hasn't been tempted to burn a stack of 100's just to see what the flame will looks like?

4. Indoor swimming pool
Why settle for a water bed when you can have a water bedroom? Just duct tape the doors, crack a window, run the hose through it, turn on the tap, and watch the magic happen.

3. Quit my job
Most people would do this, but I plan on doing it in style. I can't tell you how, I want it to be a surprise.

2. Fun with guns
Nothing crazy, guns aren't toys. I'd just like to shoot a TV and some canned food... in a dark room, with a strobe light... while listing to some opera music.

1. Home made hang glider
I think this would be the perfect end to the high speed chase. It will be mostly made of laundry I haven't done all week and some some broken tent rods. I'm pretty sure it will work.

Who am I kidding? It's Saturday; I'll probably just watch a movie and buy some stuff on eBay. Maybe the wedding cake.



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