Dear Utah Jazz,
Your recent actions of reverting back to your old colors has offended my visual senses. Purple, blue green and yellow? Really? It looks like someone threw up a rainbow and you picked the red and orange out. Even worse is that you had some of the best looking uniforms in the league. I’ll still cheer for you, but I will have to wear a blindfold while watching your games.
Dear State of Nevada,
Your recent decision to reelect Harry Reid has left me dumb founded. Being a resident of the state of Utah, I am deeply concerned about possible refugees and even worse the spread of ignorance across the state line. It is for this reason that I wish for you to relinquish the land that borders Utah, for the creation of a neutral zone.
You may ask, why doesn’t Utah give up some land for a neutral zone? We are not the ones that reelected good old Harry. I realize that this sickness has in large part come from your proximity to Californiastan, but we can simply not allow this to spread any further.
Dear low rider truck owner,
A pickup truck is supposed to be an all terrain vehicle. Your lowering of the truck defeats it’s very purpose. When it only clears a few inches off the ground it ceases to be a truck and becomes a car with a bed. The frustrating part is all the effort you expend on the paint job and customization. When I see a well done low rider I think that truck would be really nice if it had a lift kit.