Stupid News

by Anonymous 10:39 AM 0 COMMENTS

The media does a marvelous job of keeping us distracted with stupid stories that in no way impact our lives. Normally I try to ignore the stupid stuff, but this week was so full of stupidity, I had to say something


Story 1: Mammoth caught on video
This story has a lot of problems:
1. While Siberia is sparsely populated, it is Russia. Do you really think that the paranoid Soviet Union would have missed something as big as population of mammoths living within its own borders?
2. The video is strangely short. Whoever filmed it was stationary. There is no reason while they would only film such an extraordinary event for only a few seconds.
3. The film appears to be intentional y blurred. It is so blurry that one cannot make out any details, it looks as much like a bear carrying a fish as it does a mammoth
4. What appears to be the trunk, is in the water. Elephants do not let their trunks hang in the water in such manner, they always hold their trunks above the water. Would you just let your nose hang in the water?

Story 2: Madonna fans beg Netanyahu to hold off bombing Iran until after her May concert in Israel
I've always suspected there was a direct correlation between stupidity and being a Madonna fan. Now, I know that there is a connection. They want the nation of Israel to structure its national defense around the spring concert schedule. Do I need to explain why this is stupid?

Story 3: Michelle Obama wants the military to eat their vegetables
Awe isn't that cute! Well, it would be if she was not planning on forcing them. The military is already much more fit than the general population. They don't need Michelle Obama planning their diet!

Story 4: Naked man lured off tower with McDonald's hamburgers
Actually, while this story is stupid, it made me laugh. Personally, I think the man is foolish. If you are a naked man on a tower you have the upper-hand. No one wants to be the one to climb up there and drag you off. He could have at least held out for Carl's Jr., to settle for McDonald is pathetic.