by 5:51 AM 0 COMMENTS
In my travels, I have encountered some fine men with ponytails. I have also encountered some outstanding college professors. However, I have yet to meet a college professor with a ponytail, who was not worthless. For some reason, the two things do not seem to mix into a decent human being. It's like mixing vinegar and baking soda. There is a mathematical truth, which has been in full effect since the 1960’s: A male college professor + ponytail = Marxist

I'm not one who thinks the answers to life's problems are found in legislation. I don't want to force these men to get a haircut. I don't want them fired or fined. I do want the average person to take reasonable responsible action.

If you’re a college student, and you walk into a class with a professor who has a turtleneck and ponytail, you should transfer out of that class. In fact, run as it you were being chased by an angry bear and a swarm of bees.

I think parents need to be more aware of the haircuts of their child's professors. There are other things that are important to know, but this should be on top of your list. Studies conducted in my own paranoid mind, have shown, a professor with a ponytail is a million times more likely to be involved with the following extremist groups:
  • La Raza
  • The American Communist Party
  • The DNC (aka The American National Socialist Party)
  • SCIU
  • Soccer related groups
  • The Sierra Club

If you see an aging man with a ponytail, on a college campus, do not approach him. Report this man to the nearest conservative blogger.



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